Book Review: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

First, a few notes:

• I will never cease to be amazed by old dystopian authors' ability to look into the future and accurately predict what will happen that will suck.
• I, although a nerd and a teacher to boot, am a 26-year-old product of the high-tech, fast-paced 21st century. 
• In the case of this book, I am reading like a writer, more than like the average Joe.

 
Basic concept:
The short novel takes place in the indistinct future. Bradbury (author), writing from 1953, does a phenomenal job of predicting the affect television will have on society.  Books are now a threat to the status quo and must be burned.  Firemen start the fires that burn them. The novel's only round, dynamic character is Guy Montag, a fireman.

My observations, opinions, and analysis:
There is a very high level of symbolism in this novel.  Because I listened to the audiobook - and because I'm not always as smart as I think I am, some of it was lost on me.  This means most of it would be lost on the average high school student and many adults.  The literary allusions were just within my range of familiarity, which means all other people with literature and library degrees would get them, but it's a toss-up for math majors and computer tech guys. 



I found the biblical allusions, and the veiled theme that the Bible is the most important book capable of healing a world totally destroyed, touching and understated.  This is good in that the 21st century populace will not be preached at and moralized to.  This is bad in that lack of biblical knowledge will send the allusions right over your head. The words carry double the weight when you know where they came from. 

My aesthetic reactions and recommendation:
The book is short - 5 hours by audio, 150 pages of text. This is good, because some of the imagery and symbolism and allusion drags.  Having only one (real) character, for me, can be tiring.  There's a section very near the end where Guy is caused to wonder what knowledge really is and where it is kept. I am slightly ashamed to say, I cried. If I think about it too hard, I will cry again.  This is probably not a reaction the average person should expect. You've got to really really love books. 

If you have it in your mind to pick up Fahrenheit 451 and read it, you are probably very ambitious, or a nerd, or you like a challenge. If that's true of you, do it. Pick it up, read it, struggle through it, get all the way to the end.  If you are not a reader, this is not a starter book. If you haven't read anything since high school and you're older than 20, this is not how you want to reacclimate yourself.  If you read the Bible (specifically not in the NLT or Message translations), you might want to give this a taste.  See how it goes.

I don't think I could teach this to anyone, but AP students, or seniors who had been through a rigorous English curriculum.
 
8 out of 10 points.  That's my standard rating.

Spoken Word of God

Last week, I outlined ways to know if the words you're taking in are from God or not.  I focused on the written word - the Bible and other texts that proclaim the gospel of salvation through Divine Intervention. This week I will focus on the spoken word.

There are three main sources of the spoken word of God:

• Pastors, preachers, prophets, teachers, conference speakers - all one group
• Spiritual family, counselors, mentors, teachers, wise advisors - all one group
• God Himself

To be very honest, many of us only ever listen to people in category two, spiritual family.  This is a very natural place to start, but a dangerous place to end.  My sweet, faithful, strong in the Word grandmother is sometimes just too close to me or too insistent on her personal styles to be the only one I listen to.  Your mentor is a human being. No matter how much she loves God, is filled with the Holy Spirit, she is still human with her biases and places of hurt and confusion.  To only listen and take advice from your spiritual family is to shut out the revelation God is giving to the rest of the world.

God is bigger than our imagination and wondrously multifaceted. God is not limited to the perspectives of people we know.

The next problem we have, especially in the United States, is our aversion to pastors and church people.  And I promise you, despite my current attachment to the church, I have struggled with this before as well. 2 Chronicles 20:20 says, "Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful." Also in Paul's second letter to the church at Corinth, he says, "God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased...and God has appointed these in the church: first apostles, second prophets, third teachers..." (12:18 and 28).  He goes on to list several other spiritual gifts in hierarchical order.  Apostles can be defined as "those who are sent" (based on the translation of the Greek word) to speak God's word or to do God's work. I don't have them listed above simply because apostles tend to be doers - church planters, missionaries, healers - where the speakers are more referred to as prophets.

Some in church culture refer to prophets as anyone who speaks on behalf of God, or gives a message from God. This encompasses pastors, preachers, teachers (of the Word, not necessarily academics), and conference speakers (conferences centered around God's word and growing in faith). I like this scripture reference: "When there is a prophet among you, I, the Lord, reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams. This is not true of my servant Moses; he is faithful in all my house. With him I speak face to face, clearly and not in riddles; he sees the form of the Lord" (Numbers 12:8).  That's big. We see that prophets get visions and dreams that have meaning for our lives as followers of God. We also see that a person who is faithful to God might see God "face to face" and might hear things from God "clearly." Any human is fallible. Moses had his issues. But God continues revealing Himself to certain people "face to face." He continues speaking to certain people clearly and He does so even today (because He never changes - Hebrews 13:8).

The practical application is this: When someone says, "The Lord spoke to me and said..."

1. Look for that trend in scripture.  You probably won't find the exact words, but you can find the concept. Remember to balance the Old Testament with the new. If a self-proclaimed prophet says, "God wants us to stone all adulterers," yes you will find that precedent in the Old Testament, but you will find a very different precedent set by Jesus in the New Testament. Chances are very great that person didn't hear from God. 
2. See if what they claim God told them proves true. "You will know them by their fruit," or by what they do (Matthew 7:16). The catch is always timing.  God exists outside of time and historically gives people glimpses into the very distant future. Very rarely does God give a message with a timestamp on it.  The nice thing about this is it's easy to test out.  "Prophet" So-and-So says this will happen before the end of the year. You don't have to wait very long to see if they were true or false.  
3. Do NOT try to decide whether they are really speaking God's word based on their mistakes or past failures.  Moses killed a guy and then disobeyed God and was left out of the Promised Land. That didn't stop God from using him to write the Torah. Paul used to murder Christians, that didn't stop God from using him to write all those letters to the churches. God is in the business of saving people and using them for His glory. Salvation is a process and God uses people while He's still saving them. Sometimes people make huge mistakes after God has spoken through them. This does not invalidate the message.

When taking in God's spoken word, we must temper our faith in God's hierarchy with wisdom of God's written word. "Study to show yourself approved" (2 Timothy 2:15). Listen with a discerning ear and react in love and submission.

I will write more on submission and hearing from God Himself* next week.
#iLoveWords

*I struggled to put Himself rather than Herself or Him/Herself. God does not have gender. That's a different argument for a different day. But know, that I believe firmly and whole-heartedly that God fully encompasses both genders. 

Say What? Word?

In my last post, I used the premise of Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love to give some guidelines for having a fulfilled life: pray, "eat," and live. As promised, in this post I am going to discuss my theory of "eating" a bit more.

I already mentioned "[hu]man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4).

What are God's words? The easy answer is: the Bible. The educated answer is: God's words are those which proclaim the Gospel, the good news, of salvation through Divine intervention.

Let me clarify: The only reason I did not leave my declaration at "the Bible - period" is because I believe, like Tommy Tenney (author of the famous Christian text The God Chasers), that God has not stopped speaking to His people since he gave John the Revelation and since Paul wrote his inspired epistles to the early churches. "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8), so it doesn’t make sense that He would stop giving us prophets, relevant and timely instruction, and revelation.

I think there are dozens of books out there written by people who listen just as closely to God as Matthew and Amos and Moses listened to God. And I think their words are just as relevant to living a godly life as those in the canonized Bible. These authors’ books typically include biblical cross-references along their original revelations.

I will not name specific other books of scripture in this post, but I will say this: Christianity hinges on the revelation (not the intellectual knowledge) that Jesus, the Christ, who was both God and man allowed himself to be killed in order to "pay for" human sinfulness (Phil. 2:5-8). All religions I have studied acknowledge that humans are inclined toward wrong doing more than right doing. Most theism (or “belief in God”) acknowledges that God is "holier," better, stronger than humans. As a Christian, I believe that Jesus's death paid (past tense) the price for my sin. It happened immediately in the instant of his death, and now only has to be accepted.

I am going to disagree with some theologians here, though, and say: I don't think Jesus came to earth, lived, was tortured, died, and rose again (that's the difference; martyrs are a dime a dozen) primarily to save us from hell. Why not? Because I don't believe that the people who attempted to be faithful to God before Jesus's earth tour went to hell. I believe Jesus's death and resurrection were ordained by God to give us a chance at a better life on earth, an opportunity for the life God wanted when He created humans in the first place. Now THAT’S GOOD NEWS!

Christianity is about being saved from the effects of sin in our lives on earth more so than the after-life result of rejecting God's sovereignty. We are saved and able to engage in the process of becoming more whole, and therefore becoming holier and happier.

So, how do we measure if it is God’s word or not? In my prayerful, researched opinion, God's word is this:

• It DOES constantly require you to do better. 
• It DOES constantly remind you that you cannot do better without God. 
• It DOES come from a place of love. 
• It DOES NOT allow you to remain complacent. 
• It DOES NOT convince you that your next level is all about gritting your teeth and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps (none of that “they sleep, we grind” mentality). 
• It DOES NOT come from a place of judgment. 

Despite many Christians’ aversion to everything that hints at another religion, in Liz Gilbert's book her first act on her spiritual journey was to cry out to a God she wasn't sure she believed in and ask for help. Even she prayed first. And when God spoke; she listened and obeyed.

#iLoveWords

 For some information on other ways God speaks, check out Soul Medicine next week.

Pray, Eat, Live

I read the book Eat Pray Love twice before the movie came out.  I saw the movie in the theater and only loved it because it was a condensed version of my favorite book.  And because Julia Roberts is in it and I love her.  I had a couple of friends who were impacted by Liz Gilbert's insight the way I was.

And then I studied the book with a class who took the stance of most of the world - a rich, white lady decides to travel the world and masquerade it as spiritual and personal growth.  Really she just had an awesome vacation.  Well, someone has their knickers in a knot.

I found that everything she went through was relatable to me.  If it wasn't a pattern I already saw emerging in my 20-year-old present, I could imagine it in my future. I could say it's because she's a writer. But that would go against my fundamental belief that it is because she was right.

As I struggle a little with self-love and I meditate on ways to "fix" my problem, I think I would change the order of her verbs.

1. Always pray first.  Pray as soon as you wake up, before you go to sleep, and at every turning point throughout the day.  Thank God for being big enough to handle anything you will ever go through.  Thank God for loving you enough to work all things together for your good.  Ask God for guidelines, answers, inspiration, opportunities.  Ask God for help not being afraid to take those opportunities, help loving others the way He loves you, help seeing what might be getting in the way of your progress. 
2. Then eat.  This probably seems ridiculous, but give me a chance.  First, "[hu]man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:4).  So "eat" God's words from the Bible, from the mouths of preachers, and from inside yourself.  Secondly, understand that physical eating can be a spiritual practice. There's a reason we pray, "Give us this day our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11).  That one was talking about actual food.  Make sure you are nourished, not hungry, but also not overfull or full of the wrong things.  Be careful what you enjoy and why.
3. Learn to really live.  Understand that "God has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness" (2 Peter 1:3).  I really appreciate the phrase from a popular mega church - "Whoever finds God finds life."  Find what God intends for your life - for me it's writing and teaching - and do those things as well as the actions that support those things.  I am a better writer the more of the world I take in, the more I build relationships with people.  I am a better teacher the more I do things the right way. Kids need to see adults succeeding.  Also, if I want to live whole and healthy for longer than 40 more years, I have to exercise and keep nourishing rather than deadly habits.  

So many think the majority of humans have nothing to learn from Elizabeth Gilbert's journey.  I think they fail to see that she was simply giving us an example of what it might look like to go against people's expectations and strike out on your own to find the life God intended for you.

There will be more discussion on "eating" and on "living" in the coming weeks.

#iLoveLife

Have You Ever Been In Love?

Have you ever been in love?

Like seriously in love - you talk to him every day and text him when you aren't talking and see him every chance you get?  Like you want to tell him all your good and bad news first?  Like nothing you do could ever be as fun without him?  Like you miss his presence on girls night and hanging with your family?

I feel you. I am a champion at falling in love.  In fact, I watched the movie Country Strong shortly after my own bouts with depression and suicidal tendencies.  I internalized the lead character's advice: "Don't be afraid to fall in love; it's the only thing that matters in life. The only thing. You just fall in love with as many things as possible."

This is a good tactic for getting yourself out of depression.  Lupe Fiasco, in his song, "2Ways" says, "you really like summer, you really like music, you really like reading, LOVE."  He's following similar advice.

But once you've given yourself reasons to keep living, to continue getting out of bed in the morning, there ought to be something more.

Would you believe me if I said each and every one of us was intelligently designed for the sole purpose of being head over heels, elbows over ankles, in love?

With God.

It might seem crazy because we find it so much easier to love things we can touch - ice cream, piano keys, grass, and a man's finger tips... but imagine for a second that your Lover doesn't have a job and yet still has boundless resources to shower on you?  So no matter when you want to "call Him," He's available and willing.  He gives gifts so much better than you can even imagine, much less pick out in a store.  Consider that the enormous capacity you - especially as a woman - possess for loving (we pick up dirty socks, change dirty diapers, and still manage to smile and give hugs) is primarily for loving God.  Understand that the only reason you are such a fantastic lover is because you have first been loved by Someone omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent.  And He deserves our reciprocation.

Don't be afraid to fall in love. But falling for God will eradicate the need to fall for anything else. All other "loves" are just gifts from God.

After all, God is the definition of Love (1 John 4:8).
#iLoveLove

Nothing But the Truth

Spoken word poet Alysia Harris embodies the art of telling the ugly truth in a beautiful way.  She speaks with her whole face, her whole body, she loses her voice and makes herself cry 90% of the time.  This is how you know what she's saying is true.  If you can write it, edit it, memorize and rehearse it and have it still bring you to tears, you're onto something.

She tweeted this quote years ago:

The best example I have of this truth is me and my bestie, Jess.  She and I have been making best friendship work for almost 8 years.  Over the last 6 months, we have been really committed to deepening our friendship by talking more regularly even though she lives in Germany (remember last week's post? Make it work. We use the Voxer app) and praying with and for each other.  We give each other updates on all the big stuff and all the little stuff several times a week.  When we disagree, we figure out why we disagreed. When we get frustrated we tell each other, we apologize, and we attempt to not make the same mistake again. We still sometimes make each other cry.

Any time you talk to someone this often, you will need a set of principles to guide you.

Here are the three things that work for us:

God - If Jess and I did not each (not one or the other, or one on behalf of the other) have a firm commitment to a God who never gives up on His relationship with us, we would probably have given up on our friendship with each other.  In fact, when we were both weaker in our faith, it was much harder and we made more and harsher mistakes.

Also, if we did not each understand a God who forgives endlessly and gives more grace than we could ever give or deserve, we would not have an example of how to treat each other with grace and forgiveness.

Love - Jess and I have spent countless hours discussing the different facets of that four-letter word.  We always use the Bible as our guide - 1 Corinthians 13, 1 John 4:7-11, Ephesians 3:17-19 (she asked me to read this at her wedding, even after I'd been really mean to her - that's love), and countless other scriptures.

We take what we read and we attempt to apply it literally.  The Bible is a book of instructions given to a beloved group of people from a Father who only wants what's best for them. And we know "Love...rejoices in the truth" (1 Cor. 13:6).

So, when Jesus says, "turn the other cheek," it literally means that in a fight when a person hits you, love would guide you not to hit them back. For real. This is only figurative in that it can apply to non-physical fights.  If someone calls you a dirty name or cusses you out, you are not to retaliate.  Love stands down, takes the hit, extends forgiveness (without being asked) and does not hold a grudge. Look at Jesus on the day of his crucifixion. Whoa. We don't like this because we see "being a doormat" as enabling the other person's bad behavior.  But somehow Jesus didn't see it that way, and I can't presume to be smarter than him.

Honesty - You have to tell the truth. We make the mistake of believing that others are not smart enough, stable enough, or loving enough to handle our truths or treat us well in the face of our truths. That's where we have to be patient, loving, and forgiving and give them time, space, and resources to understand us.

Jess and my friendship finally became smoother when we learned how to disagree with each other and still be loving and supportive. Aristotle is attributed as saying, "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." As friends, we have to entertain each other's thoughts, feelings, ideas, plans, goals, and potential relationships.  We must entertain them, and if they need re-sculpting, be honest and loving enough to tell our friend why and offer support for how.

It is as simple as 1, 2, 3 and as incredibly difficult.  True communication, true friendship, true love, requires honesty to make us better people.  Someone has to tell you that you are spending too much time at the club to really make your business successful.  Someone has to tell you that the way you speak to people discourages collaboration.  The only way I've seen to be honest without ruining your rapport with people is to always temper your honesty with love.  The only way I know to be dedicated to love is to follow God's example, especially in Jesus Christ.

#iLoveTruth

Six Months Later

In my last post, my New Year's post, I didn't mention much about school because I was a little emotionally overwhelmed about it.  They took me out of my on-level English classes with 90 students and put me in a co-taught special education classroom with 30 students.  They said it was because I was inexperienced.  Last month, they didn't offer me a contract to return on the premise that I didn't have enough experience.

Because God is awesome and He makes provisions for you before you know you need them, I was offered an interview from a small independent African American district before I even knew they weren't asking me back.  I was asked, interviewed, and hired directly by the superintendent.  She saw me performing poetry at Urban Roots and thought I might be a good match. I'll be teaching on-level English and one or two creative writing or poetry classes.  It's an awesome opportunity! I'm so excited!

I published my poetry chapbook The Risk to Bloom and have sold several copies. I had a feature show that I got paid for (that's three now!) and I booked another feature. I am in talks with three other potential features.  I have a ton of video from these shows but I haven't had time to edit and publish it yet.

I have been asked to write for a group called Soul Medicine. I will post a link and more information about that soon.

I have done a ton more praying and seeking. I have received several revelations about myself, my future, who God wants me to marry and what He wants me to do in the meantime. God is good. I am currently reading The Utter Relief of Holiness by John Eldredge.  I'm going to make another attempt at reading The Daniel Plan by Rick Warren. If you have any other books written by Christians about health, feel free to recommend them.
I have not yet developed a daily without fail prayer and Bible study time. Sometimes I skip a day and other days I'm in it for 2-6 hours. I am inconsistent.

My health is all over the place. I don't eat well. I do exercise regularly, but that is offset by my lack of nutrition and sleep.

My summer goals are these:

1) Read Judges, 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings at least. Maybe 1 and 2 Chronicles also.
2) Find good recipes, make good, clean, healthy food and eat regularly.
3) Find a good workout regimen with RIPPED, zumba, and yoga.
4) Read novels, excerpts, and other things for school unit prep.
      a) I will keep my book list on my blog and update it with reviews.
5) Travel and perform
     a) Right now Dallas, Houston, Kansas City, Baltimore, DC, and New York are on the list.  That's probably enough for one summer, but you never know what's going to happen.
6) Tutor
7) Draft my nonfiction book and write good, short things

Identifying Faith

The Risk, The Sacrifice

I just finished editing my first chapbook of poems and sent it off for peer-edits.. There are just over twenty poems in it, many of which I have performed for crowds that liked or loved them.  I wrote these poems mainly during my college years, when I was searching, wandering, losing and finding myself by the week and month.

There is a quote from Anais Nin that I heard on Alicia Keys' album The Element of Freedom and it really touched me: "The day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."
Last year I had a show called "The Risk to Bloom" and that is what I am naming my book as well.

I don't doubt that Anais Nin (and Alicia Keys) mean something different about freedom and about blooming than I do, but the quote is so true and so powerful.

 

Sometime during college I closed myself off to lots of emotions - many who knew me then would say that I never cried and sometimes seemed to feel nothing but laughter and anger.  I closed myself off to the piercing power of the Holy Spirit.  After a lot of meditating and reading old poems and journals, I think I was tired and afraid of feeling convicted, so I stopped allowing myself to give in to questions about my motives and my misbehaviors.

I couldn't close down everything, though. I let in beautiful words. I allowed words to feel for me so I wouldn't have to.

After college, that didn't work for me anymore.  I actually didn't write for months on end, close to a year.  Being closed off like that was really hurtful to my sweet roommate at the time.  It got me fired from a job I was good at.  It led me to a really dark place where I behaved as if there were no God to heal and protect and provide. I went through a ministry class at church, because I was asked to, and because I was sure that if I didn't do something "radical" I would not make it much farther. 

What I know now is that there is a beauty God puts inside each of us - namely women (inside the men, I am inclined to say He places a strength - not that women have no strength and men have no beauty but I am speaking generally) - and that beauty is precious and vulnerable.  The devil does not want the world to see that beauty.  The devil does not want the world to see your light shining to glorify the God who made you. So there is an attack on our beauty and on our strength. It is a ruthless attack.  The goal is that we would die emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and then perhaps physically as well.  The devil wants our potential dead because it is a reflection and a manifestation of God's potential - His omnipotence (same root word: potent).  I learned that our beauty is inextricably bound to God.  Without God everything begins crumbling.

Knowing that there is an enemy who wants to attack the strongest, most beautiful part of you makes you want to protect it, to hold it back, to maybe lock it away in a high tower where no harm can reach it...and no one can see it or be inspired by it.

I am thankful to be living after "the day" when I realized that hiding is too painful and detrimental.  But in order to fully grasp that, I must let go of what used to be and how I used to cope.  I must release the hiding and the self-protection in order to bloom.  I must release the people who are attached to who I used to be.  I must be willing to sacrifice what I once wanted - angsty poems that make people cry and applaud, that pull their heartstrings - for what I want more - to be whole and holy in God, and to show others how to get there.

I am afraid that my writing won't be as good without all of the angst.  I am afraid that it won't be as poignant, that it will draw a smaller crowd.

"It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." - Marianne Williamson

I am afraid that many of those who nurtured my writing from the beginning will shun it when I consistently insist on putting God in the middle of it.  

"I tell you, the Kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a nation that will produce the proper fruit. And whoever falls on this stone [that the builders rejected] will be broken; but on whomever it falls, it will grind him to powder." - Matthew 21:43-44.  Jesus was quoting Psalms 118:22-23.  He was saying that He is who people reject, the "stone" or building block that "builders" reject.  Because we are all building a life, and we are either building it on Christ or on something else.  He is saying that the "nation" producing "proper fruit" is the nation that has "fallen" on Him and allowed themselves to be broken. He is talking about the people who have sacrificed what they wanted for the Kingdom and then used Him to build their lives on.  Those who won't sacrifice, who won't allow themselves to be broken are those whom the "stone" will crush.  I don't believe this directly translates to God reaching out to smite people.  I think it means that if you don't make the sacrifice to build your life around the Kingdom, you take yourself from God's protection and then life's trials and hardships can and will crush you. 

So I trust that whatever I create from here on out will touch who it ought, where it ought, how it ought to.  I do not have to be angsty and sinful in order to be creative or draw a crowd.  I can be whole and holy.

At some point I will have to sacrifice the freedom of having all the time in the world for the discipline of health.  I have to want health more than I want "free time." It's a change in mindset. I have to invest in the process, the patient endurance, the sweating at a low fitness level until I get to a higher one. 

Sacrifice

This week's topic is sacrifice.

This is hopefully not a blog where you have to read every post to understand what's going on. But today, you need to read Friday's post before you read this one.

"Sacrifice is giving up something you want for something you want more." - original author unknown. But I have heard this at church as well as in the movie Beautiful Creatures.

"If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me" (Matthew 16:24).

"You can only be great at things you're willing to sacrifice for." -Maya Angelou

"The question isn't, 'Do you do what you want to do?' but 'Do you do what [God] wants you to do?' In this lies the opportunity to die." - David Nasser, A Call to Die

"Our struggle with excuses is the test of our commitment to Christ" - David Nasser, A Call to Die
"Life will test your commitment to your desires." - Pastor Charles Martin at Integrity's Voice of Victory Church

So I make regular sacrifices to follow God. I want Him more than a writing career.  I want Him more than a performance career.  I want Him more than attention from certain people.

I sacrifice sleep for work all the time.

But the question on the table is: do I want physical fitness more than any thing? I mean honestly.

Nasser says that when you live for the Kingdom of God, "Nothing else matters because, quite literally nothing else matters."

So what if God is calling me to improve my physical health so that I can reach people more effectively?  Nasser wrote, "above all else, God values our faithfulness to obey Him. Patient endurance is not all that exciting most of the time, and if we expect (and demand) spiritual thrills all the time, we will soon be disappointed..."

A question I am currently asking myself is: does this endeavor yield eternal dividends?    
There are levels of spiritual maturity - the most obvious ones being 1) living a life that honors God and 2) living a life that causes other people to honor God.

I think that I have a certain vanity about being overweight.  It's not a completely physical vanity, although I would never call myself ugly.  It's wrapped up in a more intellectual vanity that says, "Look at me. I have the best of both worlds. I am beautiful, but I am also so smart and self-actualized that I don't care if I'm over weight as long as I'm healthy."

I know that there are people who judge books by their covers and people by their appearances. What if my refusal - because it is refusal more than inability - to get fit is keeping me from being able to speak into certain people's lives? Maybe people who think that way are shallow, but am I only called to "bind up the broken-hearted," never to speak truth to the proud and vain?  I think not.

A minister, Kevin Wade, who I heard preach in April and whose sermon I listen to on CD in my car said that we ought to be walking, talking examples of the grace, goodness, and provision of God.

Am I?
God just got me a job that I've wanted for years. It was all Him. So maybe in that aspect, I am. But what about in other areas?

When we hear preaching, sometimes the Holy Spirit plants images in our minds' eyes to help solidify the concept God wants us to internalize.  When Rev. Wade was preaching that message, one of the main things on my mind was having a healed knee and being in great shape.

It's cool to say God is the most important thing in your life. And that can be true. God can be honored by your relationship with Him. But another level of honoring God, pleasing God, is letting your life, your light (Matthew 5:16) draw other people to Him. So if that's what He wants from me...I will give that too. 

"He is no fool to give what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose." - Jim Elliott quoted in David Nasser's A Call to Die

Matthew 11:12 - original poem finished

All my life, I've heard people quote the verse in the King James Bible that says,
"The Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence and the violent take it by force."
I never really knew what that meant
or if I could even trust it
because my history books had told me
that King James wasn't all a body might've expected him to be.
Since then my spirit has come to believe
there's got to be some truth to that phrasing.

You see in the Kingdom of Heaven people are always working,
always striving toward love and peace.
And that Kingdom of Heaven exists here on earth
as long as we nurture our dreams.
But just like we are all capable of goodness and beauty,
so some of us have stopped fighting for love and peace
and have given ourselves up to harmful, hateful things.
Those of us who have sat idly by and let the darkness creep in
are causing the Kingdom of Heaven to be grieved.
We have allowed the battle we were born into
to discourage us from trying.
And our apathy has turned to anger that works itself out violently,
against ourselves, against the hurting and the dying.

Because of this, a war is waging.
Those of us who remember that we were created for victory
must take back what apathy is stealing.
Jesus loved peace
but when the Kingdom started suffering
we were given the commission to toughen up
and fight for its protection.

(Now) I don't know how you feel about this situation,
but I'm not comfortable with hurting people hurting me,
or my family, your children, or this country.
I believe we were created to prosper,
to enjoy and create beauty,
to be blessed in order that we might be a blessing.

I want back the wonder and possibility
between two people whose souls desire unity.
I'm fighting against the pain brought on by lack of respect for physical boundaries.
I'm fighting the consequences born from our seeming inability
to wait to fulfill our fantasies.
I want back purity.

I want back play time and the innocence of children's minds.
We used to play house and hide and seek.
Now we only look at violent games Nintendo and on TV.
I'm fighting for invented games and made up stories.
I'm fighting for the ability to make believe
because I think it's a forerunner for faith.

I want back language that speaks of God and nature and humanity
in words that cause wonder and praise.
I want back strength of character that refuses to be torn down by circumstance.
I want back Mama's love and G-rated romance.
I want back dads, not just father-figures,
or fathers who figure they do best to provide us with money.
I want back the proper view of male-female relationships
that got skewed when my father left me.
I want back the word "Christian"
and the truth of Christ's legacy.
I want us to remember how to behave
like we have been in God from the beginning...
because we have been.

You can call me hostile if you want to,
but I'll use every weapon in my arsenal to fight for those things.

The Kingdom of Heaven is suffering violently
because God's people refuse to walk with authority.
We lay down and cower in corners when we get hit.
We've forgotten that the Kingdom lives in us
so it lies stagnantly until we forcefully advance it.

When Jesus was born, the angels proclaimed peace -
nothing broken, nothing missing -
but as Christ's years on earth came to number thirty,
those who had forgotten their rightful place in destiny
took up arms against the King and His progeny.
It's about time we stopped pleading and whimpering
and raised up our swords of truth to fight for the reign of the Kingdom of Peace.

My Father's Love

He exists only in candid photographs emblazoned on my memory
He lives somewhere beyond the sea
But to me, he’s only the image of what never could be
Daddy
Mom said he used to speak Spanish to me
Used to tell me “No” once and I’d obey
Maybe that’s why I rebelled when he went away
I realized that obedience is not what makes parents stay.

Since I had no father with whom to cuddle up
I cradled King James’s God in my arms like if I could just hold tight enough
I wouldn’t feel so exposed.
I cried rivers of tears
I thought maybe the harder and longer I wept the more likely he was to hear
From Panama.

The churches built on King James’s God
Taught me that suffering is earned
Everyone falls short of the glory and that’s how you get hurt
It’s punishment well deserved
Their correct combination of rituals and words
Taught me that life wouldn’t be so hard
If I learned to tithe under the table to the Man in charge
I learned to work the system
And I was too young then to see
That their salvation system had hoodwinked me

Well-behaved people do not create history.
In fact, there was a man who behaved so badly
He spent all of his 33 years avoiding capture by the authorities.
This man showed us how to forgive
He showed us his way and then asked us to do it better than him.

We have failed at what put Jesus a cut above
It was his boundless capacity for forgiveness and love
We’re so busy pleasing King James’s God by obeying
And providing Caesar with taxes from the store we were saving
That we no longer stop to break bread and commune
We are no longer tuned to the heartbeat of the universe

Sometimes I still miss my daddy
But when I open my mind and heart wide enough
I feel all of the love that he could have ever given me
Because it exists in the very air I breathe