Despite the Light of That Same Star...

This post is maybe a month too long overdue.

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr, you know that I am mad as hell about all of the young black people, and especially black men, who have died, especially at the hands of police officers, in recent months and years. If you've been following me, you know I think the United States's justice system and police departments need an intense overhaul. However, you might not know, unless you know me really well, that I have not considered myself to be solely under the jurisdiction of the United States for some years now. I believe I'm a citizen of the kingdom of God and I give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's (Matthew 22:21 and Mark 12:17). If you heard my poems either at Purple Martini or Ice Event Center the last couple of weeks, you've heard how my previous self and my current self are a bit at war with each other. If you're my sweet half white and half boricua Haitian missionary friend, you know that I don't hate white people. I am blood related to two really adorable, sweet three-fourths white babies and I love their mama to pieces.  But it is sometimes hard to love people who abuse their privilege, specifically white people.  If you're my Favorite or a friend we met at a political leadership conference, you know that #blacklivesmatter isn't just about politics; it's about relationships - especially when you are/look white.

  


But if you're anyone else who has not had a personal conversation with me about these events and our reactions you might be thinking I'm a reverse racist. You might be angry at my audacity to stand up for all black lives, even those of petty thieves, even at the risk of police officers lives because police are supposed to protect and serve the community. If you are any number of dozens or hundreds of white people who I have gone to church with, held hands with, prayed with, and gotten closer to the Lord with over the last 20 years, you might be thinking I've completely lost my faith.
The good news is: I haven't lost my faith. The bad news is: God and I have yet to come to a conclusion about how to appropriately handle racism in America today. You're going to want to talk to me about submission and how God and I don't have to come to a conclusion about anything because He's in charge. In response, I'm only going to say you don't know the way our relationship works. You're going to want to tell me to turn the other cheek and to love them anyway, because after all they nailed Jesus on the cross. In response, I'm going to say Dr. Martin Luther King a reverend who was martyred didn't just turn the other cheek.  And I have yet to loot or burn or physically harm anyone in my anger (like a small minority of protestors in Ferguson did). That's probably the best you're going to get for now.

I have been steadily distancing myself from all American social norms that are not based in truth and justice.  This includes nearly all American politics, and the American church's semi-allegiance to a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy named Jesus instead of a Hebrew carpenter named Yeshua and the God he represented, Yahweh.  Boycotting and awareness are nasty business.  Not fun.  They don't help you make friends.  But I can't stand idly by and watch the world burn without doing or saying anything. The Yeshua who tossed temple tables and was crucified for his stance against the theocracy (religious politics) of his day didn't just stand by and watch.

But to the point of this post...
I went to church last weekend at LifeChurch.tv not IVVC (an elaboration which I will not now or ever make in blog format). Pastor Craig is in a series about worship which is quite meaningful to me personally, considering I have left and joined, left and joined 3 churches on the premises of worship for the last 8 years or more. This past week he chose to discuss of all things tithes and offerings. I have been a diligent tither for a very long time because Pastor Charles (IVVC) is an excellent tithes preacher. I have learned thoroughly that the members of the Kingdom of God benefit from operating on the kingdom's system of "seed + time = harvest."  If you've been following me since last March you've seen me post two or three times about financial blessings that came from seeds sown into the kingdom.  But I am not really ashamed to say I was not happy to hear Pastor Craig speak on this topic this past weekend.  I currently don't really consider anywhere my church home, and have not tithed for the last two or three paychecks.  From my seat, I passively resisted his sermon and without a happy heart gave my six dollar tithe on my earnings from my last poetry show.

This post is about how despite all the turmoil in the world, despite the fact that I'm boycotting Christmas, despite the fact that every thing is fraught with tension and hardship, and that it has even been a rough week at school, God doesn't break promises. I sat in the service and thought: "These tithes aren't doing anything for me! When I was paying them I wasn't moving any further out of debt!" But, for you atheists out there, for my social justice friends who are more on my side now that I'm mad at the Man and who avoided my newsfeed last March when I was all "Jesus this, and God's promises that," for my American Christian friends who have a nativity scene on the mantle where Santa is bowing to Baby Jesus, this is for you.

I was on the phone with one of my five credit card companies a couple of weeks ago, because I realized they were still charging me for a service I had asked of them to turn off. Paying for that service usually meant I was only paying $10 or $20 on my bill every month. They offered then and confirmed this week that not only would they cancel the service but they would refund me all the money I've paid for the service since I've had the card. The refund will be in the amount of $600. That is more than half the balance on my card.

I know you want to say "they're just making up for their mistake," but that's not what this is. Credit card companies want to take your money not give it back.  Despite the way it looks to me, despite my anger on Saturday, despite my resistance, my participation in God's system and my lack of trust in the world's system has now translated to a bill that's paid down farther than I would've been able to pay it.

Despite the fact that I don't really know what church I go to - although I will be paying my tithes at Life Church, despite the fact that I probably have not been anywhere near as loving through this social unrest as God would have wanted me to be, despite some of my personal downfalls that I have yet to overcome even though I know where the power lies, God does not renege on his system or his promises.  He is a better steward of our finances then we are, and definitely a better steward than this world is.  God doesn't throw a tantrum and stop being who He is just because we have forgotten who we are, or because we feel the need to become someone new.  I don't have a denomination.  I'm not celebrating Christmas.  I am opting further and further out of a political system, social system, cultural system that only contracts to protect and provide for certain people.  I am tuning my ear and my heart to a God with a system that never ever fails no matter who you are or what you look like.

In case you're wondering - God's system has very specific rules and boundaries because it has extravagant rewards and benefits. He gives mercy and grace to those who need it and requires much from those to whom much has been given.  The "buy-in" to the system, the pledge of allegiance if you will, is not a fancy indoctrinated prayer, but a willingness to trade your way for His.  He asks for a lot.  His system works best for those who give Him everything.  That is a very tall order, but true protection, true peace, true fulfillment have no other source.  I am not a Christian because it's cool, or because America is a Christian nation (it is not), or because a church told me to be.  I try to follow in the footsteps of Yeshua because in him and because of Yahweh who sent him is the only salvation.  It's not about heaven and hell; it's about how to make it through life.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33

(title is a muddling of the lyrics to the second verse of "The First Noel")
(side note: Those of you who refuse to tithe, because you don't want to give your money to the church, I get it. But tithing is not a pact with the church; it's a pact with God. Connect with Him, not just with His representatives who sometimes misrepresent Him)

Things I'm Looking Into

Reading more: The Autobiography of Malcolm X, something about Marcus Garvey, maybe Roots, and some fun stuff too.

Lupe Fiasco's Lasers thing. It looks like it wants to be a movement, but for now it's just Twitter and Lupe's music leaks. I want to move it.

Hip hop: Lupe, dead prez, Talib Kweli, Public Enemy, NWA, T.I.

Doing MY OWN thing. I want Jari Askins to be Governor, but I need to stop trying to intern in her office, because the movement of my people is bigger that her campaign office. I want to volunteer for her campaign, but I don't want to be responsible to them.

Go natural again?
My friend Vineasa chopped off all of her hair, and she is beautiful. Maybe when I lose 30 pounds.
I've been saying that for a while, but I am going to the gym right now, so it might happen this time.

Forward movement.
Check this out: www.blackamanian.blogspot.com

National Public Radio - too public?

Ever since I started interning for a gubernatorial campaign, I listen to NPR on the radio on the way to the office. Linked is a story from their website about the U.S.'s CIA and other covert groups performing drone strikes in the middle east. The main issue with the strikes (other than their covert status) is the civilians who are sometimes killed in the process. As is the norm in the news media (particularly broadcast), the broadcaster invited scholars and other knowledgeable parties to discuss the story and give their opinions.

As I listened to the story, I wasn't able to decide if I think drone strikes are against America's ethical code or if they are a necessary evil, a means to an end. The confusion of that story, and the implications it could make toward our president and our secret services make me wonder if the public always has the right to know. Even the scholars were torn in their opinions of the matter, so can we assume that the average American really understands the issues, really knows what is at stake?

Perhaps I am a cynic, or a snob, but I don't feel like the average American knows enough about covert operations, the Secret Services, or the power of political leaders in non-democratic nations to be able to make a moral judgment on the government's decision to perform drone strikes.

This is not just about the ethics of war. This is about the media system we have set up where the public knows everything. Are covert operations really covert if everyone hears about them? Are the Secret Service truly secret if all the media outlets are telling their story? Don't get me wrong. I was once a journalism major. I love NPR. But should some topics be off limits? Is a free press always in the best interests of the nation? Are the rules different in war time?

Supreme Court Justice?

Allow me to disclaim this blog post with these statements:
I believe in the idea of our forefathers to run this nation as a democratic republic, a representative democracy. I believe that the theory is a logical one and I believe in the process. I think American democratic failures can most often be traced back to times when money meant more than ideals (which is most of the time) and times when there just wasn't enough participation in the process to really make it work.

That being said, I was appalled last night when I was talking to my boss and he told me about the Supreme Court's decision to treat corporations like people, and therefore allow them to donate obscene amounts of money to political campaigns.
Here is a column by a Washington Post writer about the issue. In her opinion, the Court not only made a bad decision but did so with "stunning...intellectual dishonesty." It seems like she's saying they committed a type of logical fallacy.

It's not that I'm not concerned with the logical (or illogical) steps the Court took to arrive at its decision, but I'm much more just angry that they think making it legal for corporations to buy candidates is some form of justice.

I'm not really looking forward to the 2012 election cycle.

change

"i'm starting with the man in the mirror
i'm asking him to change his ways
and no message could have been any clearer
if you want to make the world a better place
take a look at yourself and then make a change"
-michael jackson

"yes we can heal this nation
yes we can repair this world"
-barack obama

why is that people rarely come together for anything other than death? michael jackson's memorial was beautiful. watching everyone on cnn and on facebook updating their statuses and showing love was great. it made me think about how the last time i saw anything that beautiful, that unifying, was at the hand of president obama (his inauguration, election night when he won, his landmark speeches). but prior to the election year, i rarely saw people joining hands with people they had never met and had almost nothing in common with. "bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven" (william wordsworth).

this all means even more to me right now. i have recently felt my heartstrings connected to the state of oklahoma, as if i belong here. as if i have red dirt running through my veins and a tornado wreaking havoc inside my ribcage. over the last week, it had begun to look like oklahoma is a state that has yet to fall instep with the mantra of "united we stand, divided we fall." state representative sally kern has written a proclamation blaming the president, homosexuals, and debauchers for our economic crisis. she claims that a return to morality and religion is the key to turning the financial tide. and she defames america as an immoral nation.

i am not in denial. bad things happen everywhere, including the u.s., including oklahoma, but pointing fingers has never solved problems. and as a person who believes that, above all else, Jesus was a representative of love, it kills me to see people standing in Christ's name singing "God bless america" while villifying people's freedom of sexuality. it broke my heart to watch people proclaim division and animosity and then sing our "star-spangled banner."

i believe in the united states of america. i believe that when people unite themselves around a cause, there is nothing they cannot accomplish. it is true that the rule of the majority can sometimes yield unfavorable results, but that is why this is the "home of the brave" not just the "land of the free." we must take responsibility for the causes we rally behind. and we must never forget that freedom always comes at a price.

i guess i'm just hoping that people continue to think globally, to think about others as well as themselves, and realize that the good things we want are waiting for us to make them happen. someone else needs to stand up and be the one so that one can become two, two can become four, four can become forty, and forty can become the majority.

but today, let's all start with the man in the mirror.
r.i.p. michael jackson

what does Jesus think about politics?

this morning, i was going through my routine - check google mail, check school email, check facebook, check myspace, check blogs, browse twitter - and i came across something that confuses me.

a friend of mine posted a link to a news story from the huffington post about a resolution going through the oklahoma state house of representatives.

the resolution blames president obama for the recession - citing not just his expensive stimulus package, not citing his ideas for health care reform, but blaming it on his "cancellation" of the white house recognition of the national day of prayer and his support of "immorality" in the skin of the lgbt community. the resolution implies that the economic recession is punishment for america's lack of adherence to biblical principles. you can see the full resolution in the story and see for yourself if i've summarized it well.

the call to action at the end is to once again make morality and religion the priority of the state. for those of us who have lived here our whole lives it is hard to entertain the notion that anything other than christian evangelism is at the forefront of oklahoman thought.

but, to take this a bit farther, my question as a person who is trying to seek the LORD and do what is right in the eyes of G-D is: what would Jesus do?

does Jesus believe in separation of church and state?
does He believe in democracy in general?
does He think citizens should be able to take part in their government?
would Christ condone representation of the masses and the idea that a government be conducted by the people?
does Jesus think that members of the lgbt community have fewer rights than heterosexual americans?

how do you stand for Christ and be an active citizen at the same time? or can you?

Barack Obama for President 2008

I don't see how you can NOT believe in this. If this doesn't give you hope, if it doesn't light a fire underneath you, if it doesn't make you want to trudge through snow to the polling place, then I don't know that I have any business with you (politically speaking).

American War

I'll admit, I am far behind in my news gathering, but I am currently in the process of watching the CNN YouTube Democratic debates. There have been several things that have been said that I'm sure I will address eventually but since this is the most provocative question in politics today this is the one I'll address first.

When it comes to war in general and especially right now in Iraq, the arguments are basic although we do our best to complicate them. Do we A) fight, stay, deploy, fund in efforts to militarily enforce our views of democracy in a nation where they don't truly want it or do we B) preserve the lives of our troops and the nation's finances and make this a diplomatic fight - one done through words and the U.N. and treaties and trial and error?

The problem with option A is that people who disagree with the goal of the war feel that people are dying in vain.
The problem with option B is that people are far more responsive to bloodshed than words.

The question now is do we stay - knowing that this is in the process of turning into another Vietnam - and hope to God that our troops can make a difference before too many more die? Or do we pull out - knowing that this action will undercut the intentions behind the war - and admit that we, the United States of America, tried and failed?

My personal opinion is that we should do the latter, pull out, cut our losses, mourn for our troops, welcome them home and let the U.N. handle it from here.

Part of the reason could be that I just watched The Interpreter, which for those of you who don't know is a movie about a woman who interprets for the United Nations and who overhears a threat on an African political leader's life.
In the movie, she talks about how she believes in the U.N. and believes in what it stands for. Communication. As a journalist and an expressive personality, I can't help but be yoked to that. Communication.

Now, before you call me unpatriotic, I come from a military family. My uncle and grandfather are both retired Air force, my cousin is active duty Air Force, my other cousin is active duty Coast Guard. I have a friend who was in the National Guard and has thought about re-enlisting but he is afraid to because he has a son and doesn't want to go to Iraq. I had to think about what to say to him, how to advise him. It wasn't theoretical, it's his life. I have numerous girl friends whose boyfriends are overseas. It's very close to home to me.

I support the military. I believe that sometimes it is necessary to fight. And when all of this started, even in my limited understanding, I thought it was time for us to fight. But I also believe that sometimes mistakes are made, things get out of hand and sometimes we just can't do it alone. It has spiraled out of control. Let's try a different approach.