peace comes WITH understanding

words. are. life. to. me.

the true colors personality test has just helped me understand that life.

knowing that i'm predominantly green (as opposed to gold, blue, or orange) - i.e. more analytical than the personality quadrant (expressive, driver, analytical, amiable) gave me credit for being - and that only 7% of the population is green explains why i never feel understood. knowing that i am green (deep-thinking, seeking correlation) followed by a toss-up between gold (driver, task-oriented, structured) and blue (amiable, focused on relationships, passionate, artsy) shows me the reason behind my desire for a connection to a spiritual community. it also shows me my intense passion for poetry - the most condensed version of meaningful art. and for writers - the juxtaposers of correlative information. and for philosophers - the students of the universe. and for theologians - the students of the Divine.
this is why i love Jesus. and Buddha. and Ralph Waldo Emerson. and Barack Obama. and Elizabeth Gilbert. and Lauren Zuniga. 

thank the universe.

i feel so much peace right now.

9/30 - Simile for Love

I love you like flowers love sunshine
and like the desert loves heat.
I love like back massages when I'm tired too
and telling you when you have food in your teeth.

I love you like joint showers
and letting you stand under the water
while my teeth chatter against your bare chest.
I love you like that time it only last five minutes
but that short time was the best.

I love you like chocolate cake and fresh-baked bread.
I love you like half-priced ink.
And get this: I love you MORE than the color pink...

I love you like my next breath
and the sound of rain when there's nothing else to do.
I love you like twenty-one years
and all the trouble I can get into.

I love you like Jesus loved sinners,
Like Gandhi loved peace,
Like Buddha loved happiness.
I love you like the homeless love their next meal,
Like oxygen loves trees,
Like grass loves dew.
I love you more than this poem can express
and I don't even know you.

7/30 - Maybe

I have this odd way of forgetting how to follow my heart.
Once I know what she's asking for,
I quit before I really get the chance to start.
Like I'm scared of how happiness feels,
Afraid to get attached to good because bad has always been more real...
But life makes sense right now.
Pain has left its handprint
but today I think it's beautiful somehow.
On Friday I thought the world might come crashing to an end
But at this moment
I know it's all in Someone's hands.

And maybe that Someone is me.
Maybe it's faith in inner divinity.
Maybe it's the open heart the Buddha showed me how to see.
Maybe it's the knowledge of my wealth as compared to poverty.
Maybe it's the selflessness that Jesus taught me.
In fact, maybe religion is just the deification of poetry.
Maybe now that I have written it
I know I can conceptualize spirituality.
Or maybe today is just the first one in a while
where the stars are aligned for me.