I'm going to tell you my rendition of what my very dear friend told me, and I hope it helps, at the very least, to get you to open up the channels of communication.
GOD IS NOT MAD AT YOU.
He is not sitting up in Heaven shaking His head because you messed up again, thinking of ways to punish you for your actions. He is holding out His hand asking you to come to Him and let Him "fix" things. Sometimes, I think He's on His metaphorical knees, begging you to come to Him...
...not because He's a weak God who needs us to validate Himself, but because He is a perfect, loving, Father, friend, and Savior who wants the best for us, and only He knows what's best. He knows because He created us, and the best thing for us is His will.
"you can ALWAYS come home"