If you make enough money that I don't have to work
and we can still support ourselves, our children, and our loves,
then I will be the best trophy wife you ever saw.
I will work out 4-5 times a week unless I'm sick.
I will cook big and nutritious meals to keep us healthy and happy.
I will entertain our friends and your business partners.
We can have Thanksgiving at our place.
I will have healthy, tame, beautiful hair.
I will drive carpools and host play dates.
I will stand at your side looking trim, beautiful, and so happy to see everyone.
But never think I will be silent, or stupid.
I will engage all of the other trophy wives in enlightening conversation.
I will read and write and create art to the satisfaction of the wives who go to work.
I may even discover a way to make money from home while still being the support and care-giver.
This I promise you, if you make enough money that I can stay at home.
But if you ask that I work,
or better yet,
if our household asks for more income,
I will more than likely throw myself into a job that requires a lot of my emotions.
I may teach school or work at a day care or toy store.
I may go in on a business venture with one of my very ambitious friends and spend a lot of extra time making sure everything is done well.
If I am a working wife,
I still promise to keep the house clean, but it may not be spotless.
I still promise to cook sometimes, but I can't promise that the food will be gourmet or that it will come more than 4 times a week.
We will eat leftovers, and take out.
I can't promise that I will work out regularly.
In fact, when a schedule gets crazy and there are little mouths to feed,
that will be the first thing I scratch off the list.
I may not volunteer to host family get-togethers,
and if you bring someone home unexpectedly,
I will be generous and open-armed,
but my work papers and the laundry may be strewn all over the bedroom.
So I guess what I'm saying is this:
if the extra 20-30 pounds I carry secretly bothers you,
don't bank on it coming off for the wedding.
If you only like my hair permed and coiffed, you will have to make sure we can afford that.
If you demand a home-made meal every night,
you must be willing to cook it yourself sometimes.
But our children will be happy.
They will be hugged and loved,
but taught to be brave.
They will be handled firmly and required to behave,
but they will always know where to lay their head when they weep.
And you will be happy.
I will sit close to you while we watch a movie or game.
I will greet you when you come in and say goodbye to you when you leave.
I will speak gently, but honestly,
thoughtfully, but openly,
and I will speak often.
And when you need me to be quiet, I will be.
And every night when we lay down to sleep,
I will make sure to give what I can when you need it.
I promise you these things,
from the time you give me a ring until the time one of us ceases to breathe.
Whether I'm working, or standing like a trophy.