My Father's Love

He exists only in candid photographs emblazoned on my memory
He lives somewhere beyond the sea
But to me, he’s only the image of what never could be
Daddy
Mom said he used to speak Spanish to me
Used to tell me “No” once and I’d obey
Maybe that’s why I rebelled when he went away
I realized that obedience is not what makes parents stay.

Since I had no father with whom to cuddle up
I cradled King James’s God in my arms like if I could just hold tight enough
I wouldn’t feel so exposed.
I cried rivers of tears
I thought maybe the harder and longer I wept the more likely he was to hear
From Panama.

The churches built on King James’s God
Taught me that suffering is earned
Everyone falls short of the glory and that’s how you get hurt
It’s punishment well deserved
Their correct combination of rituals and words
Taught me that life wouldn’t be so hard
If I learned to tithe under the table to the Man in charge
I learned to work the system
And I was too young then to see
That their salvation system had hoodwinked me

Well-behaved people do not create history.
In fact, there was a man who behaved so badly
He spent all of his 33 years avoiding capture by the authorities.
This man showed us how to forgive
He showed us his way and then asked us to do it better than him.

We have failed at what put Jesus a cut above
It was his boundless capacity for forgiveness and love
We’re so busy pleasing King James’s God by obeying
And providing Caesar with taxes from the store we were saving
That we no longer stop to break bread and commune
We are no longer tuned to the heartbeat of the universe

Sometimes I still miss my daddy
But when I open my mind and heart wide enough
I feel all of the love that he could have ever given me
Because it exists in the very air I breathe

8/30 - Work Hard, Play Hard

I've heard it said, "youth is wasted on the young."
Well I'm determined to make some change for the world while I get me some.
I won't wait 'til I'm old to do what I want to.
And I won't work so hard that I reject the impromptu.

Every hour spent working is an hour's work done.
But every hour spent playing is countless memories and reruns.

Remember the time you were so drunk you walked around the corner topless in a city where you'd never been?

Oh my gosh. I'd forgotten all about that.
Remember that car ride to Cancun when we stopped at that restaurant and got free dinners from those creepy old men?

Yes! They were so gross.
Hey, remember that weekend we spent at the shelter with those kids?

Yeah, remember how grateful that disabled girl was when we told her she could be our best friend.

See, I want to let the good times roll and look back on the memories and laugh.
But I want to do what's good for my soul and build a legacy that will last.

I'm not giving up my indiscretions
Or working my life away
But the fun I have at night will be tempered by good work in the day.
I'll never ignore the hurting people
Or take more than my fair share.
I'll sacrifice for what I believe in
And I'll push every limit I have.