Just a Beautiful Old Soul

Country girls sing about the emotions we try to avoid.

Carrie Underwood, "We're Young and Beautiful":

"While we're young and beautiful kiss me like you mean it. Treat me like I'm special. Cover me with sweetness. 'Cause a time will come when we're not so young and beautiful. While we're young and beautiful living free and easy, here without a worry, dancing in our bare feet. 'Cause when the summer's done we might not be so young and beautiful. While we're young and beautiful we'll party down on Main Street, wearing next to nothing, feeling every heart beat, having fun, while we're still young and beautiful. It's a crazy ride and baby, you and I are keeping our sweet love alive tonight while we're young and beautiful."

I have just come to the realization that I have never really kissed a boy like I meant it. I've never been treated special or covered with sweetness. I have lived free and easy, but I've never danced in my bare feet. I have done some of this type of living, but never for a whole summer, and never with someone who was willing to do it with me. I have never kept sweet love alive.

And now it's the summer before my twenty-first birthday and I know what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life. When the summer is done I will no longer be young. Hopefully I'll still be beautiful, I won't be able to live free and easy. I'll be a woman on a mission, not a girl who is waiting for life to catch up with her.

This song is also by Carrie Underwood, "Lessons Learned":

"There's some things that I regret, some words I wish had gone unsaid, some starts that had some bitter endings. Been some bad times I've been through, damage I cannot undo. Some things I wish I could do all all over again. But it don't really matter. Life gets that much harder. It makes you that much stronger. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.

"And every tear that had to fall from my eyes. Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night. Every change life has thrown me. I'm thankful for every break in my heart. I'm grateful for every scar. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.

"There's mistakes that I have made, some chances I just threw away, some roads I never should've taken. Been some signs I didn't see, hearts that I hurt needlessly, some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend. But it don't make no difference. The past can't be rewritten. You get the life you're given. Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned.

"And all the things that break you are all the things that make you strong. You can't change the past 'cause it's gone. And you just gotta move on because it's all lessons learned."

She said, "You get the life you're given." I wasn't given time to be young and beautiful. I'm just a beautiful old soul. This is probably what makes me a good writer, but it's also why I've always been single. I am thankful for who and what I am, but there are days, times, when I mourn for what I'm not. I shouldn't be upset by it, but I often am.