I find myself forever questioning whether or not we are in control of our lives.
Do we make decisions that we want to make and the end result of our life is based on those decisions? Or are we puppets and playthings for a God who does with us what he/she wants?
I think the right answer is probably somewhere in the middle. I was telling a friend last night that I think "god" is a label we put on what we don't understand. I think the thing that we most often call God is really just the Force that sustains the Universe. This Force is sentient but it is not a person. It was not born, it does not live, and it cannot die. It simply is. The job of this Force seems to be that of balance-keeping. For each person who is born, a person dies. For each year that someone lives too long, someone else dies early. For each good deed there's a bad one. For each happy thing there's something sad.
I could be wrong, but it would make sense. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." It's science, right?
And in my mind, this doesn't leave room for coincidences or mistakes. Everything happens for a reason.
On March 6, I totalled my car driving an hour and a half from a booty call. On April 27, a male friend of mine spent his evening in a hospital treating a severe burn when he thought he'd be spending his evening in my bed.
Is the Universe trying to counteract my inclination toward random sex?
I don't know.
It's just a thought.